Wednesday, March 9, 2011

role model

This is a picture of my last cabin ever. I love these girls. I still keep in touch with them, send them letters, texts, facebook messages and chats from time to time. I've watched them blossom from gossipy high schoolers to college ladies, cried with them over the death of one of our own, gave them college advice, and helped them choose a major. My most recent experience with some of them has been persuading them to work at camp and be counselors. I wish I could work along side them, but I know that's not in the stars for me. I love them so much and have enjoyed watching them grow up and make big decisions. It makes me happy to know that I am a positive impact in their lives. I just really wish I had someone like me in my life. I wish I had someone who has been through what I am about to go through. Someone who could give me advice and tell me stories of what not to do. It's times like these that I wish I wasn't the oldest... because I do not feel cut out to be blazing the trail. And somehow... after feeling all of this I am still making it and still pressing on. Even though I feel like I'm in a dark room, hands out stretched...looking for a wall to hold on to.

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