Tuesday, May 6, 2014

YOU KNOW YOU'RE 9 MONTHS PREGNANT WHEN...



it's may. due date month. but here's the deal. my original due date was may 18th. at our 15 week ultrasound baby boy was measuring small... so they changed our due date to may 30th. at all of my last appointments i have been measuring two weeks bigger than i'm "supposed" to be. so? do we still think the first due date could be accurate (because due dates are so accurate already)? don't know, don't care, baby boy will come when he's full and grown. which really feels like right now, but i'm slightly biased.

so lets talk about the 9th month. it's super fun.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE 9 MONTHS PREGNANT WHEN...

+ you have lost pretty much all energy you ever had. you wake up tired. you get through the day- tired. you go to bed- super tired.

+ bedtime means nothing to you because the second you decided to lay down you have to get up and pee. and then you relieve yourself, do the ugly crawl back into bed like an overweight zombie bear, you adjust your 5 million pillows under your head, belly, between your legs, and anywhere else you might need them... and then you have to pee- AGAIN. and you restart the whole process except this time only a teaspoon of pee comes out. a teaspoon. i kid you not. and really you're thinking, "was that necessary?! did a teaspoon really need to come out that bad?!" and it did. because this will continue all night and you'll see almost ever hour of the night (newborn preparation my friend).

+ the term "beached whale" has never felt more applicable in your life.

+ normally you don't eat ice cream or cookies or anything sweet, but you find yourself at the store buying two for one ben & jerry's and telling your husband it's such a great deal and he should be thanking you... only to go home and consume both before he can get any (i'm sorry honey).

+ you feel really distant from everyone in your life. a lot of it probably comes from the fact that you can't physically be close to anyone because of your enormous belly and lack of hip movement.

+ if you have a toddler... she probably rides the most side-saddle she's ever ridden in her life because your hips don't exist anymore. she might as well be getting a piggy-back ride.

+ plus, if you have a toddler, they probably want to be held all the time and for some odd reason they don't notice the belly at all. they'll climb on it, poke it, jab books into it... like that's just how you always are. oh sweet thing...

+ none of your maternity clothes fit. and it's the saddest thing ever. and you think... maybe i should go buy some more clothes... but then you think... you grew out of your maternity clothes- there's no hope for you. buck up and show off that underbelly.

+ turning over in bed or on the couch feels like your biggest accomplishment and yet- it feels like a failure because it took so long, you're out of breath, all the pillows got messed up, and you figure out that you were actually more comfortable on the other side.

+ you no longer wear shoes you have to tie and your socks may stay on your feet for a few days because you can't physically get them off.

+ dropping anything is the worst. enter: the game of "can you get that for mama?"

+ singing in church gets you out of breath. sitting down gets you out of breath. laying down gets you out of breath. you're lucky you're alive because you're always out of breath.

+ you are scared. because this baby could come at anytime and what you're waiting for is the day that is going to be the hardest thing you've ever done in a while. imagine someone waking you up after you just ate a whole large pizza, a tub of ben & jerry's, and haven't slept in months... and having you sprint a marathon. with no exceptions. that's scary stuff. (but only labor ends with a smoochy baby).

+ you sit down and whatever you need next is across the room and you have to get up again. enter the grunting and breath holding.

+ you eat like a hobbit. breakfast, second breakfast, snack, lunch, after lunch snack, afternoon snack, baby #1 is napping snack, after nap snack, ellen's on snack, dinner, dessert, after dinner and dessert snack, before bed snack... etc.

+ you start holding things like your phone, books, or computers either really far away from you or ridiculously close to your face because your belly makes it impossible for there to be a middle ground.

+ you start to get really excited... because you're going to be a mama again.  


2 comments:

  1. Just love reading your Blog. You are almost there and we all can't wait to meet Jake

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    Replies
    1. thank you! we are SO excited too!!!

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