A SECRET SANTA QUILT.

merry christmas! i'm your secret santa!

i hope you like your quilt! i am not really great at sewing. i don't cut fabric in straight lines and i don't sew straight either. i've named your quilt a "hodge podge" quilt. i don't know if you saw online or not, but i've started an etsy shop. i wanted to keep myself busy with crafting- well, anything really. i've realized that it's something i need to do to stay content. i need to make. so i've made christmas cards and a print.

for december, i decided that i would make this quilt my monthly project. it is the "season of giving", so i'm not listing anything (this quilt) in my shop. now that you know a little bit about the background, i'll let you in on the story of the quilt.

when rorie was just 5 months old in the winter of 2012 i drove to the lincoln square area and picked up two garbage bags full of fabric scraps. i used freecycle and thought i could make something for rorie. well, i didn't. but i held onto the fabric and moved it with us to NH.

some of the fabric i used was from my old kitchen curtains in chicago.

some are scraps from jacobs crib sheets (stars) and my current kitchen curtains (newspaper).

there's a red sweatshirt material from a "camp squanto" sweatshirt whose original owner was my dad (it was falling apart).

other fabric is leftover from the pillowcases i sewed while pregnant with jake. i was nesting (little red flowers & green).

and lastly, there's fabric from the scraps of a dress my mom sewed for rorie when we were waiting for jacob to make his arrival.

the back of the quilt is an old fleece blanket i impulse bought at old navy when i was in high school in VA. both of my kids have spit-up on it (don't worry, i washed it!).

so there you have it...the story behind this epic "hodge podge" quilt that i made specifically for you,

my "secret santa 2014: out-of-towners-edition" (town=chicago-birth place of the burgh babes)

so merry christmas, again!

i love + miss you!

chelsea

p.s. i had my friend britta... if you were wondering who this was sent to.

OUR 1ST TWO WEEKS WITH JAKE.

these past two weeks have just been full of emotion...

the fear of realizing i was in labor and it was happening.
the joy of pregnancy being over and my baby being slopped onto my chest.
the pride in my husband after seeing how quickly our son entered the world.
the excitement of showing rorie her new brother.
the extreme tired and soreness that quickly sets in after birth.
the fear of jacob not breathing or not gaining weight (he's fine...no worries).
the love of my support system of visitors while recovering.
the happiness of being able to hug rorie straight on (gosh i missed that!).
the cheerful "look it's jacob!" we hear from rorie daily.

...to name a few.

most people tell you that the days go by slow, but the years go by quickly. while this may seem to be true, i feel like i have fought for each day i've had with both my babies. each day i learn something new and each day i'm more equipped to handle what i'm given. i'm truly getting better and better at soaking up the sweet moments and not letting them slip by unnoticed or unappreciated. her ever growing torso and his thighs beginning to chunk up. the way she memorizes a song in a day and how he snorts when he's unhappy. these keep me going when i'm exhausted.

after having jacob i realize how unprepared we were to have rorie. i am thankful for the strength we have now since enduring rorie's first traumatic year of life. i am so thankful that rorie is now a big, happy, healthy girl. for a while there it was touch and go. we know so much more about sleep patterns, growth spurts, breastfeeding, baby-wearing, car seat safety, cloth diapers, allergies and formula to name a few.

we have a uniquely positive outlook on life, babies, hardships, and our own relationship. it has made this second step into parenting a lot smoother and full of more love than we ever thought possible.

here's to our new life as a family of four. thank you jacob, for being born to us.

A NOTE TO MY DAUGHTER.

dearest, sweetest,  rorie gwendolyn.

i'd like you to know how hard we are working, your dad and i. it's really difficult to try and be an adult when your whole life you've been so well taken care of by the adults around you. and when things keep getting out of hand in the most insane of ways. like sicknesses and jobs that work us too hard. like arguing with family and moving half way across the country. like traveling all over the world and trying to sleep when we miss your presence so much. it's really hard, baby girl. but we do it all because we love you so much. more than we could ever, ever imagine or understand.

 

right now we are waiting on your brother's arrival. each night i go to sleep wondering if he will make his arrival. but each morning i wake up and he's still in my tummy. and that means it's another day we get to have with just you. and that is just as sweet and worth every minute of being pregnant for longer.

do you know how much you've taught me? do you know how much we've learned together? do you know how much fun we have every day? you might not... you're two months away from being two years old and it's definitely showing. you are extremely vocal and we can understand each other a lot. but we're starting to butt heads. you like to scream now. it's a frustrated scream most of the time, which i can understand. your body and mind are changing faster than you can keep up with. i get it. i just don't particularly like when you do it when you're looking at me with that little twinkle in your eye which tells me you're doing it on purpose. that's slightly annoying.

you're also starting to get really good at manipulation. your daddy and i like to think that parenting is "the art of distraction". we can usually snap you out of a fit with a change of topic like, "look at this flower" or "look at elle!" you are also very good at this, "rorie, what color is this?" "ooooh, yook at the trees!" you can change a topic faster than we can. touche my love, touche.

speaking of manipulation. i can't forget to mention your eyes. frequently, i'll tell you, "look at me" when i'm trying to talk to you about your previous behavior in a situation. usually, you look at me... we talk about it... and we remind ourselves that's not how we behave in this house. but sometimes... and usually with your daddy... we will say, "look at me" and you will make your blue eyes as big as they can be, tilt your chin down so your gazing at us in the creepiest way, and slowly move your face towards ours, without breaking the stare, until your forehead it touching ours...and then continue to stare with those huge blue eyes. knowing that you have the most upper of upper hands.

now, i can usually stop this before it happens, because i'm very used to your antics and mama don't play games... but you have your daddy wrapped around your tiny finger. you know that if you do that he's not going to be able to keep a straight face and whatever he was going to talk about is history. that art of distraction... you've learned it, too! oh he tries, he tries so very hard to keep it together. but his laughter burst through his mouth before he can stop . it's the most adorable thing for a mother to watch, but also the most annoying... because bad cop here has to finish the job. (in his defense, he's totally getting better at this. and you are losing your power- sorry girl).

we could have a few more weeks with just you, or a couple days, or i could click publish and it would be go time. and both of our lives will change forever. you will have a brother and i will have a son. and it will never be just you and me. i'm kind of sad about this, because i have loved being your mother. i have loved giving you all my attention.

but you are meant to be a big sister, just as i was. this is something that only you and i will share in our family. we are the big sisters. we take care of each other in a unique way. we are alike in a unique way. and that is something i am so grateful for. and i'm excited to watch you grow on this journey.

so here's to you. my first baby. my daughter. my almost big sister.

cheers.

ARTS & CRAFTS & WAITING FOR BABY.

if i'm going to be completely honest... i've been resorting to arts & crafts multiple times a day. haha did i trick you into thinking i was doing something cray-cray? :) ah well... we're just nestled into our new NH house waiting, waiting, waiting for baby jacob to make his arrival. it could be any day now or it could be weeks. so while we wait, we do art. here are a few things we've been doing lately:

1) markers & crayons. i prefer when she uses markers because she gets a greater satisfaction, at least at this age, of the juicy marks they make on the page. and it's really good hand-eye coordination practice when she tries to put the caps back on. it's really cute to watch and she rarely needs my help.

2) stickers. i learned at the young age of 12 that stickers were a mothers best friend. it started with my littlest sister and a flight home to thailand when she was rorie's age. stickers kept her busy and quiet. so i always suggest stickers to mothers traveling with their young babies on airplanes. well, stickers are just as awesome on land as they are in the air. i stocked up at wal-mart after easter. $0.12 for a page of stickers seemed to be just too awesome to pass up. i also got a big bag of foam stickers at a craft store. rorie has figured out how to bend the sticker page to get them off herself, but she still needs me with the foam ones. it's really a fun activity and then we usually use markers on the stickers afterwards for double the arts & crafts time.

3) watercolors. i recently took out the watercolors i'd been saving since high school (the markers i have are also from high school... i knew i would need them in the future for my babies!). turns out it was the best decision i've made in a while. almost two is a perfect age for watercolors and they make the most beautiful abstract pieces. in my opinion. let me know if you want a rorie original...we'll get right to work. it's a pretty simple process. i just ask her what color she wants to use and doctor up the brush and then she does the work until more paint is needed. it's very calming and we are working on being soft with the brush. but she's also into polka dots... which is not very soft on the brush, but i'm not going to deny her the polka-dots. it's also really fun to watch her brain work. she painted a "tiger with polka dots, here's his tail" and "snakes" this morning.

it's finally getting warmer out here, too. so we've been playing on our porch and in the side yard every chance we get. we're also buying berries again! and that makes everything better.

any other fun arts & crafts we should try?

YOU KNOW YOU'RE 9 MONTHS PREGNANT WHEN...

it's may. due date month. but here's the deal. my original due date was may 18th. at our 15 week ultrasound baby boy was measuring small... so they changed our due date to may 30th. at all of my last appointments i have been measuring two weeks bigger than i'm "supposed" to be. so? do we still think the first due date could be accurate (because due dates are so accurate already)? don't know, don't care, baby boy will come when he's full and grown. which really feels like right now, but i'm slightly biased.

so lets talk about the 9th month. it's super fun.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE 9 MONTHS PREGNANT WHEN...

+ you have lost pretty much all energy you ever had. you wake up tired. you get through the day- tired. you go to bed- super tired.

+ bedtime means nothing to you because the second you decided to lay down you have to get up and pee. and then you relieve yourself, do the ugly crawl back into bed like an overweight zombie bear, you adjust your 5 million pillows under your head, belly, between your legs, and anywhere else you might need them... and then you have to pee- AGAIN. and you restart the whole process except this time only a teaspoon of pee comes out. a teaspoon. i kid you not. and really you're thinking, "was that necessary?! did a teaspoon really need to come out that bad?!" and it did. because this will continue all night and you'll see almost ever hour of the night (newborn preparation my friend).

+ the term "beached whale" has never felt more applicable in your life.

+ normally you don't eat ice cream or cookies or anything sweet, but you find yourself at the store buying two for one ben & jerry's and telling your husband it's such a great deal and he should be thanking you... only to go home and consume both before he can get any (i'm sorry honey).

+ you feel really distant from everyone in your life. a lot of it probably comes from the fact that you can't physically be close to anyone because of your enormous belly and lack of hip movement.

+ if you have a toddler... she probably rides the most side-saddle she's ever ridden in her life because your hips don't exist anymore. she might as well be getting a piggy-back ride.

+ plus, if you have a toddler, they probably want to be held all the time and for some odd reason they don't notice the belly at all. they'll climb on it, poke it, jab books into it... like that's just how you always are. oh sweet thing...

+ none of your maternity clothes fit. and it's the saddest thing ever. and you think... maybe i should go buy some more clothes... but then you think... you grew out of your maternity clothes- there's no hope for you. buck up and show off that underbelly.

+ turning over in bed or on the couch feels like your biggest accomplishment and yet- it feels like a failure because it took so long, you're out of breath, all the pillows got messed up, and you figure out that you were actually more comfortable on the other side.

+ you no longer wear shoes you have to tie and your socks may stay on your feet for a few days because you can't physically get them off.

+ dropping anything is the worst. enter: the game of "can you get that for mama?"

+ singing in church gets you out of breath. sitting down gets you out of breath. laying down gets you out of breath. you're lucky you're alive because you're always out of breath.

+ you are scared. because this baby could come at anytime and what you're waiting for is the day that is going to be the hardest thing you've ever done in a while. imagine someone waking you up after you just ate a whole large pizza, a tub of ben & jerry's, and haven't slept in months... and having you sprint a marathon. with no exceptions. that's scary stuff. (but only labor ends with a smoochy baby).

+ you sit down and whatever you need next is across the room and you have to get up again. enter the grunting and breath holding.

+ you eat like a hobbit. breakfast, second breakfast, snack, lunch, after lunch snack, afternoon snack, baby #1 is napping snack, after nap snack, ellen's on snack, dinner, dessert, after dinner and dessert snack, before bed snack... etc.

+ you start holding things like your phone, books, or computers either really far away from you or ridiculously close to your face because your belly makes it impossible for there to be a middle ground.

+ you start to get really excited... because you're going to be a mama again.  

PRE-EASTER BEACH TRIP.

it seems that i totally forgot that i had other pictures from our easter trip to touisset. we had a lot of fun hanging out with my cousins, aunt, and my grandma and grandpa redding. rorie calls my grandpa, "grandpa-grandpa ready" because we told her we were going to "grandma and grandpa redding's house". it's really cute. i kinda hope she keeps it up.

rorie is an old soul like my dad. the two of them could spend days at the front beach if we let them. they'd never come home and they'd smell of sweet salt. there is an infinite amount to discover... and the same amount of rocks to throw... so i completely understand.

the days at touisset were chilly, but the sun warmed us up as we searched for treasures at the water's edge. the wind was blowing rorie's unclipped hair and in most of the pictures we snapped she looked a lot like cousin it. oh well... we had fun!

after the beach we dyed and decorated eggs, played games, and rorie played with stickers. rorie still asks me to this day if she can color eggs- meaning with crayons. it's really cute.

the we had a fantastic lobster dinner. a staple when aaron comes to visit :) i get a lot of praise for bringing home a seafood lover!

it was a great weekend. this weekend rorie and i are sick. i've been sick since monday with a cough and irritated throat. rorie started to not sleep well at night and then had a fever yesterday. we spent most of the day on the couch watching shows and napping. her highest temp was 103.8, but we managed to get it down with a few home remedies and some medicine before bed. poor baby is still not feeling well today, but her temp has cooled off quite a bit. got any tips for a sick baby? or a sick pregnant mama?! i'd love to hear.